When life hands you lemons, do we want to make lemonade?

Its official, I'm in a funk!

I'm over myself, dissapointments, sadness and pain.

Think I have a bit of FOMO too.

I'm not sure when I got to the "mature" stage in life to know when some things arent right for me?

I'm so used to doing it anyway.

So if u dont know im a PT, I love fitness! & sharing that passion with others is one of lifes joys.

I was offered a job at a new studio, I completed the training for it.. (which was a challenge in itself) and began coaching classes, but something didn't feel right.

After the classes I felt so stressed, there is a lot going on in the studio, but I was completely overwhelmed and overloaded, (sensory overloaded) by the surroundings.

I was extremely hyper, my brain was going faster than I could cope with, my emotions & senses felt all over the place my only escape was to go for a run to calm down.

I thought this cant be for me, I legit have major anxiety, I dont want to feel like this every time i coach.

So I made the "adult" descion to leave the job, even though it's the right choice, i'll be honest im upset and disappointed I couldn't continue….

Another loss to add to my pile!

Of course I was frustrated with myself, nothing new there, I internalise most things.

Anyone else?

I want to be further on, I hate having to take a step back sometimes, it’s annoying!

Someone used the term embarce to me the other day, and it's really stayed with me since.

I'm not an embracer, I don't like to go with the flow, but in this case I think i need to.

Its 9 months today since I lost my beautiful mum 🦋 I realised the other day that i'm actaually heartbroken, sad & just lost….trying to live life without someone i've loved & been with my entire life.

I’m in a whirlwind of emotions… frustration, anger, sadness, denial, then I get annoyed I feel like that… but it just keeps going round & round & round in my head, I want to get off this mental roundabout!

I guess the only way… is to embrace this 🙄

(Exhale)

So today I chose to make lemonade with my lemons, to be kind to myself as I heal from the heartache, to love and take care of me and those around me, to accept the down days, to keep the memories new and old alive, to smile and dance along the way.

There’s a saying about grief..

"People tend to think that grief shrinks over time, what actually happens is we grow around it"

I guess i'll embrace that saying too.