Grief.... is it just for a season?
It's christmas in 7 days!
As I write this blog I still have gifts to buy & wrap, food to order & a house to clean!
Can I be honest?
It's actually the furthest thing from my mind right now, I just cant seem to get myself into Christmas gear!
As a household we do have the lurgy.. every 2 minutes we're coughing, spluttering, sneezing, etc but thats not it.
I think its that 2nd year low...
It's my 2nd christmas without my beautiful mum, she loved this season, its Jesus' season and she always made sure we knew that.
I can pictutre her now, the delight on her face singing christmas carols, worshipping her saviour.
We'd always cook wayyyy to much food (that was mainly me & my sis, it was a Dad thing!)..that we'd get fed up of cooking, we wouldnt actaully eat till like 5PM!.. when most would be finished for the day!
There was a menu, theme, performances... the lot, it makes me smile remembering this.
Before we ate we'd come togther around the table, Mum would pray as she gleamingly wished Jesus Happy Birthday.
Exhale...
I feel super lost this year, somewhere between being scruge and embracing making new memories.
Just be grateful you might say, focus on the positives..
Well there is such a thing as toxic positivity... ignoring ones problems and forcing a positive outlook!... aka denial!
The thing with grief is theres no time limit, you cant say "Well i'll grief for this amount of time and then i'll be fine"
I have tried that... it comes and goes, its uninvited, not just for a season.. but a journey. It just is, it's part of life.
Another blog I read the other day suggested grief can be life long, not meaning youll constantly feel the immense sadness, but the loss of the person, situation, dream is something you'll continue to work through.. (grieve) you'll just grow around it.... even through it, and thats okay.
"Grief...
I've learned , is really just love. It's all the love you want to give but can't. All of that unspent love gathers up in the corners of your eyes, the lump in your throat, and in that hollow part of your chest. Grief is just love with no place to go."
If you are in a season of grief, take your time and be kind to yourself, remember you’re hurting and that requires healing, however long it takes 🤍
Lots of love x