Inner dialogue of a single mum
Oh it’s been an emotional week ☺️🥳🥰🥲
My second born had her school prom 🤩 oh.. my.. days.. the emotions
💞✨👑💃🏽
She looked so beautiful 👑 I’m incredible proud of everything she’s achieved… & for what’s still to come.
For years I’ve beat myself up over the absence of my kids fathers
When new things happen in their lives, I feel angry that I can’t share those moments with them.
So unsurprisingly…
I internalise that!
I’ve held myself mentally hostage…
constantly punishing myself for the mistakes made…
Replaying the scenarios over & over in my mind.. changing them to create a happier ending..
Every Mother’s Day I’ve imagined a “thank you for taking care of my kids…
it’s not even like I really want it, I guess it’s more the principle.
That might sound silly.. but it’s hard to find closure in a situation that ended without it.
However, I’m learning to make peace with it 🙏🏾
This situation has robbed me of years of happiness..
enjoying my kids & actually enjoying parenting on my own 🙋🏾♀️
I’ve always been in a hurry to meet someone else and recreate “what was”
so my kids have everything they’ve been missing.
I’ve come to realise at this part of a our journey they have everything they need 🥰 I’d rather them have me.. happy & healthy
Instead of drained, unhappy & a victim of abuse.
I’ve always struggled, with my ability to mother my kids..
Inner doubts plus
my ex convincing me I wouldn’t cope without him.
It’s time to believe the truth 🙋🏾♀️
That I’m more than capable for this ❤️ & God has given me everything I need ✨
I’ve no idea what God has in store for us as a family.. but I do know he gives us the desires of our hearts ❤️
Mums remember…
Happy mums raise happy kids ❤️ so our happiness counts too.
So much love as always
Alecia x