Dealing with resentment

So I thought i'd write a super honest blog today....

Since lockdown I've stuggled with feelings of resentment. I even feel guilty writing that sentence but im sticking with authenticity.

I think it was being in the house 24/7 day in & out...groundhog day no adult interaction... just really got to me!

Still now i dont really feel like ive gotten over it!

How?

You might ask, lockdown was ages ago... yes thatas true but I feeel some things left a longer lasting effect... a bit like long covid itself.

Its no ones fault, especially not my precious childrens

I think alot of it stems from being a single parent... doing a 2 persons job singlely.

Being the only parent my children have, the more i write this I see clearly the rsentment has come from unmet needs and expectations.

Having to just get on with life, raising kids I made with someone else who I have no contact with whatsoever is some hard shit to deal with!

Reaguardly of what happened in our rwaltionship, the abuse I endured.. bares in relevence to the anger i feel at times.. without being able to direct it to the person in question.... i bet my kids feel the same about that too.

I feel forgiveness is key here.. even though i've forgiven my exs its a gradually process that includes forgiving them on more than one occasion.

Its forgiving them and realeasing them to God to deal with. Forgiveness isnt about the person, its about you & me, its an emtionally healing thing to do so we're not left with leaking wounds and unresloved feelings.

So iguess im back to forgiving and letting go.... again